Waiting With Tea

I’m sitting at aromas. My favorite coffee shop. I don’t remember when I last had enough time to just chill at aromas. I’m waiting for a date. I’ve been going on all these dates lately trying to fill the void. Trying to see if I can feel anything for someone else.

I don’t know what I’m more afraid of. Being in love again or not being able to love again. This recent few days of quiet has allowed my brain to cool. Now the fury and the wind has died down. Im just sad again. Not desperately sad, just sad.

To be honest. Carrie’s Mom calling me actually helped. She told me to grow up and look at the big picture. She’s childish in so many ways and she’s telling me to grow up. She’s right. I’ve been an idiot. We both have. We don’t know how to cope with this. I just took my anger and ran with it. My hurt and made it personal, all about me.

It’s over for now and instead of trying to drag the past into the future I can just look at now. Right now we’re not together. Right now we have nothing. I have a date tonight with a really clever, smart, funny girl and I’m looking forward to a good night with innocent fun.

Update: The date went really well. Her name is Josieda and she’s just as zany and cute & cool as I hoped. We really hit it off and I felt comfortable with her. We have another date this weekend. It was the best date I’ve had in ages, maybe ever. I had a blast and I can finish tonight with a smile on my face.

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